i did it! i left my baby girl …
April 1, 2008 at 3:19 am | In Uncategorized |for 24 whole hours!!! a few weeks after Sydney was born, Kelley informed me that i needed to get a babysitter for an overnight trip on the 29th of March because we were going to Houston to see Chris Rock - after checking the calendar, i realized that my baby girl would only be 7 weeks old - are you serious? i’m supposed to leave my baby at 7 weeks?? now here’s the back story - before Kelley and i got married, we had several discussions about the importance of maintaining our marriage post children - and i have this fear of waking up 10 years from now and realizing that i no longer know my husband because i’ve been so wrapped up in our kids - so we made a deal that we would always make an effort to spend time together without children - i just didn’t realize it would be so soon! but i also know that Kelley plans the most awesome surprises ever - and i didn’t want to be Debbie Downer and say “no honey - i can’t leave Sydney” - so i had my anxiety attack silently and said ok - i called my mom and asked her to keep Sydney (because at this point, she’s still the only one i’ll leave Sydney with) and of course she was thrilled to have 24 uninterrupted hours with her granddaughter!! so it was a date
as it got closer, i started to freak out a little more - but i was looking forward to getting a full night’s sleep - it doesn’t matter how much sleep i get with Sydney, i’m still in a constant state of exhaustion - especially since she’s still sleeping with us (which i’ll get back to later) - but when i told Kelley that i was looking forward to the sleep, he said he had the whole evening planned and that maybe i should take Sydney to mom’s on Friday if i was expecting some good sleep - well that was out of the question - i was already leaving her for 24 hours - here was no way i was giving up another 12-15 hours with my baby girl - even for some good sleep!
so Saturday morning, i got up at the crack of dawn so i could get dressed before Sydney got up - it takes forever to get out of the house with a newborn - i tried to get as much done the night before as possible but there was still a ton left to do - i have been pumping a ton of milk so that she would have plenty to eat while she was with mom - but it’s hard to gauge how much she eats since i primarily nurse her rather than pumping and feeding from a bottle - i had almost 60 oz frozen - do you think that was overkill? anyway, i got up and got dressed - i fed her and then pumped so she’d have a bottle ready to go - decided that Sydney could go to Grandma’s in her pajamas (can you believe i was actually thinking about getting her dressed? duh!) and we were on her way - as Kelley loaded up the car (with enough supplies to keep Sydney set for the next week!), i teared up a little thinking how much i was going to miss her - i sat in the back with her so i could get in every last minute with her before handing her off to Grandma - but i did it!
so off to Houston - we stayed downtown at The Magnolia - loved it!! we got in around noon and Kelley had some things to “take care of” - so while he was gone, i called to check on my baby - mom said she was fine (of course) so i took a nap - we had dinner reservations before the Chris Rock show and Kelley surprised me at dinner by inviting his sister and her boyfriend and MY sister and her boyfriend - YAY!!! they both live in Houston (our sisters) but i didn’t think we’d have a chance to see them since we were flying in and out - so how excited was i to see them at dinner - after dinner we all headed over to see Chris Rock (who was HI-larious - completely offensive - but truthful - and HI-larious!!) - and then after Chris Rock, Kelley made reservations for us at a jazz club - it was such a great night - while we were hanging out, Kelley asked how long it had been since Stacie and I had hung out - um, years?? i’m not sure why but we just never hang out when she’s in town - the last time we went out was my bachelorette party - so it was cool to kick it with my sister - and i haven’t hung out in Houston in FOREVER - downtown Houston is cool!! anyway, we headed back to the hotel about 2am and i slept all the way til 7:30am with no interruptions - it was only 5 hours, but it was the best 5 hours of sleep i’ve had in almost a year!! we headed back home Sunday morning and my baby girl was back in my arms at noon - WOO HOO!!! it was a great trip and it was nice to get away and just be “dianthe and Kelley” for a while - but it was also nice to get back and be “mommy and daddy” again too!
in the meantime - being a mommy is hard - i mean i knew it would be - but it’s a different kind of hard - and no matter how much you know, it’s still never enough - finally, after 7 weeks - i can finally distinguish Sydney’s cries - i tried to listen like that Baby Whisperer chick on Oprah - but i could never figure out what she was talking about - none of Sydney’s cries ever sounded like what she said - but now i can tell exactly what she needs when she cries - i’m just thankful we haven’t had colic!! now don’t get me wrong - i’m super proud that i figured out the crying thing - but the sleeping thing - it’s a battle i don’t ever think i’ll win - her days and nights have finally evened out a little more - instead of going to bed at 4am, she’s going to bed around 11pm or 12am - and while it’s still not the ideal time, it’s at least more in line with my sleep patterns, so that’s a bonus - still no luck in getting her out of out bed though - so she does the first night time stint in the swing and then when she wakes up for her first feeding, i nurse her side lying in bed with me and that’s where she stays until it’s time to get up for the day - in my head, i keep thinking that i’ll nurse her and then put her in the bed or back in the swing - but by that point, i’m so tired - we both just fall asleep! and why is it that everyone else can put my baby to sleep but me? don’t get me wrong - she’ll fall asleep in my arms - and i love it - but when i lay her down, she wakes up immediately - when my mom or Kelley or anyone else lays her down, she usually stays asleep - i know that she knows me - she recognizes my voice and knows my scent - she may even know my face - but if she’s asleep, how can she know that I’M the one that’s putting her down - man this kid is spoiled rotten - and i have NO idea where she gets it from!! i hope i don’t sound like i’m complaining - i wouldn’t trade being a mom for the world - but that “get ready to never sleep again” thing is like the understatement of the century!!
so now that she’s getting older - she’s getting to be a lot of fun - the first few weeks, all they do is eat and sleep - but now she’s starting to be less dependent on me - sometimes when she wakes up, instead of crying she’ll just sit there and look around - until she gets bored and then she’ll cry!! and sometimes she’ll babble a little bit and then fall back asleep - how exciting is that? she’s also smiling a lot now - i never knew that i could spend hours trying to get my baby to smile - or that Kelley would take picture after picture trying to catch the smile! it’s the greatest thing though - she’ll look up at me and smile - it completely melts my heart - or when i kiss her and tell her how much i lover her or that she is the sweetest baby ever (in my AWESOME baby talk voice) and her face lights up and she gurgles and smiles - it is SO freaking cool!
so we got the official word today - my brother is having a girl!!! my sister-in-law is due in 3 weeks and all this time, they haven’t been able to confirm that it was a girl - they thought so but no confirmation - until today - i am so excited!!! it’s going to be all girls, all the time - they’re practically the same age - they’ll be able to share clothes and dress alike - how fun!! now they just have to find a girl name that begins with J - too bad Jane is already taken - ha ha!!!
Sydney’s First Smile - well at least the first one on film!!!
Sydney’s Easter Outfit - pretty fancy for her first Mass!!
Sydney and her Goddie - that’s the name Stacie aka The Godmother has given herself!! as hardcore as my sister is, i should spell it Gotti!
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She’s absolutely GORGEOUS!!!! Love the pics!! My Noah is exactly 1 week younger than Sydney and it sounds like we are going through just about the same things!
Comment by vanessa — April 1, 2008 #
sydney jane is beautiful!!! such gorgeous, expressive eyes. thanks for the update - it’s so fun to hear about your journey into mommyhood!
Comment by meredith — April 1, 2008 #
Dianthe,
Unlike you, I get to sleep nowadays lol, so that’s exactly what I’m about to do. I wanted to say one quick thing though, then tomorrow when I’m not falling asleep, I have a couple things to say about the sleep thing, that maybe you haven’t heard yet, even though I’m sure you’ve been given tons of advice. I did want to say real quickly though, Oh My Gosh, that baby looks exactly like your husband in a lil’ pink dress. She’s adorable!
Wendy
Comment by Wendy — April 1, 2008 #
Dianthe,
Never tried it myself so don’t know if it works but I heard that if you lie them down when they are drowsy but not asleep, that they will fall asleep and learn to self soothe at the same time. I didn’t hear this until my little girl was three so know she is eight almost nine and still having trouble keeping her out of my bed. Hope you find something that works. I’m glad that you don’t have to worry about the colic though I went through it for the first four months. And OH MY GOD she is SO CUTE!!!!
Comment by Kathy Ann — April 1, 2008 #
Dianthe, thank you for sharing your journey with us. It is so good to hear from you…I check everyday to see if you’ve blogged, no pressure though. You’ve certainly got your hands full now! We appreciate you updating us on this beautiful baby girl! She is a true doll baby!!!
Comment by Tina — April 1, 2008 #
She is so beautiful!
Comment by Kennedy — April 1, 2008 #
SHE LOOKS LIKE KELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enjoy that precious little one– you’ll blink and she’ll be in college!(and then you’ll still get no sleep cuz you’re worried about her or bothered b/c someone was mean to her)– that sleep thing never ends hahahaha
Comment by melanie — April 1, 2008 #
SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DANR ADORABLE!!! I want another one!!!
My daughter is 11 and let me tell you - 11 years later - I STILL haven’t slept an entire night… It’s worse for me when she stays the night with a friend. I go to sleep super late - just in case she calls cause she’s scared and wake up SUPER early - waiting for her to call for me to come get her. But like you said, I wouldn’t change being her Mother FOR THE WORLD!!!!!!!!
Comment by Anika — April 1, 2008 #
She is so sweet & lovely. Love the pics. Keep em comming.
I agree with some of the others, she looks like her daddy.
Comment by Bernice — April 1, 2008 #
BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL! I’m glad you found time to update your blog. I know how busy a baby will keep you. I hope sleep gets better for you. I’m sure she will be sleeping through the night in no time!
Comment by Olivia — April 1, 2008 #
OMG, she is absolutely gorgeous!! She couldn’t be cuter!
Congrats on having some baby-free time!! You deserve it!
Comment by Susan — April 1, 2008 #
Dianthe -
I need to know…how are the cloth diapers working for you? I’m seriously considering trying them with my soon-to-be-bundle, but I wanted your thoughts before I shelled out the money on them. Thanks for updating us on your precious babygirl!
Comment by Amie — April 1, 2008 #
She is a doll and you will be putting that hair in pigtails soon….too cute!!
Comment by Dawn — April 1, 2008 #
I was in the exact same position until about a month ago. My son is 4 months now and he didn’t start sleeping all night and on his own until almost 3 months!! I would hear other people’s stories and think, man, what am I doing wrong. And the first time he slept all night on his own was at my mother in laws which drove me nuts!! So, needless to say, it will get better! He now sleeps all night in his crib…at least 8 or 9 hours! And your absolutely right about keeping your marriage alive. My mother in law takes my son every Saturday night so that my husband and I can have that night all to ourselves. It’s great bonding time for them and us!! I enjoy your blogs!! Thanks for sharing, she’s so, so, so, so CUTE!!!!
Comment by Melody — April 1, 2008 #
SHE is BEAUTIFUL!!!! I can’t tell who she looks like but I can see how adorable she is. Can’t comment on the sleep thing. Mine slept in the baby bed. I did understand the ’self-soothing’ comment because that’s what my son and DIL followed and their 2 1/2 year old is VERY easy to put to bed.
Speaking of… I’m sure your mom had a ball with Sydney Jane. We don’t live near our granddaughter but last week (I was off for Easter.) she came to spend 2 nights with us. I was so excited and she was great. I was really afraid she was “to old” to do that for the first time but it was a blast.
Now I guess we will do it often!
Thanks for the pictures and the updates!
Comment by Kat — April 1, 2008 #
congrats again. she looks just like her daddy. i too did cloth diapers with both of mine–but with a diaper service–loved it! also, the lady that said lay her down while she is drowsy and let her learn to self soothe is correct. hard to do but good in the long run.
Comment by juanita — April 1, 2008 #
let her soothe herself…believe me! IT WORKS and your life will be easier because of it. You can lay her down at night and nap time…she goes to sleep by herself. IT”S VERY POSSIBLE..I think it’s harder on the parent than the child.
Comment by dana — April 1, 2008 #
She is SO CUTE and SO bright eyed. Adorable…video tape as much as you can, and when you aren’t videoing, make sure you are taking pictures!!
Comment by Amy — April 1, 2008 #
Dianthe…you would not be as tired if you let her sleep in her own bed. She would sleep longer and you would be much more rested. TRUST ME! You are not sleeping well when she is in a swing (?) and in bed with you….try it…you will be so much happier
Comment by sara — April 2, 2008 #
Your little one is so cute. If you ever get a chance look up BabyTalk magazine. I think there is still a way to get a year’s subscription for free. There is a lot of helpful and interesting information in there. I am also a first time mom, my little baby is going to be 8 months next Wednesday. God Bless
Comment by Shorty — April 2, 2008 #
you’ll get all the advice in the world on a public blog but as long as you trust YOUR gut and do what makes kelly, sydney AND you happy your doing great! and who cares wehre they sleep as long as everyone gets some
congrats again!
Comment by Megan — April 3, 2008 #
megan…do you not read that SHE IS NOT SLEEPING!
No one is being mean to her. People are actually hitting on the nail and offering some good advice.
Comment by angela — April 3, 2008 #
I am going to be a first time mom next menth, and I plan on going back to work. I wnat to breastfeed, but I will have to pump when I go back. Which pump are you using? I am so confused with tall the choices out there! HELP!
Comment by Abby — April 3, 2008 #
It sounds silly, but I’ve definitely found it to be true — babies are so sensitive to what adults are thinking, because our body language gives things away. So when you go to put Sydney down when she’s sleeping, you’re probably unconsciously tensing just enough, because you’re thinking “Please stay asleep!” that you actually end up waking her up
I had to make myself think “She’ll stay asleep, no problem. Just lay her down, she won’t wake up” — it didn’t work every time but it made a huge difference 
I’m sure you get tons of advice and don’t need anymore — it sounds like you’re doing great…she’s happy and healthy, so who cares if she wakes up when you go to lie her down, right? Just snuggle her!
Comment by Cara — April 7, 2008 #
Listen to Cara…she is so right. babies can sense everything and if you are uncomfortable or uneasy they can sense it!
Comment by angela — April 7, 2008 #
Abby,
The Medula Pump in Style is great and well worth the money. I used mine with my two year old and now again with my eight week old. Hope this helps.
Comment by kim — April 8, 2008 #
i agree with cara, it just didnt come out that way and i got snapped at
and i love my pump in style its great and worked great, its worth the money!
Comment by Megan — April 9, 2008 #
All I can say is AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Comment by Ashley — April 9, 2008 #
Dianthe,
I am so in sync with your posts! I had to leave my baby girl at 6 wks overnight so they could remove a tumor from my neck. (which turned out to be benign). I cried because I missed her so much.
I also wanted to say how wise it is for you and Kelley to have date nights. I have a friend that did this, and thirteen years and three kids later, they are still happily in love and have the best adjusted girls ever!
Comment by Kim — April 10, 2008 #