Dianthe’s Blog

Everybody who works on the show loves what they do – and we know that we’re lucky to have the jobs that we do – but it can be difficult – especially because we willingly signed up for this – so when listeners ask questions and make commentary about our lives, we have to put up with it – and most days we’re equipped to deal with it – and other days, whether it’s good or bad – you just don’t know what to do

today Kidd announced that he and Carol are no longer married – just writing it makes my stomach hurt – I’ve known for quite some time – but Kidd and I never discussed it and he never said it out loud – I know we’re going to get a lot of questions and speculation about the whos, whats, wheres, when and whys of it all – and it’s frustrating … on a lot of levels – particularly because although we all voluntarily put our lives out there for the world to see, our families didn’t – and it’s a fine line – we went through the same thing when Kellie announced her divorce – I took tons of calls from people asking “what happened between Kellie and Freddie” – I know I pissed a lot of people off, but I always responded with “I don’t know – I didn’t ask her” – and while some people took that as me being rude and sarcastic, most people realized that it was an ultra personal question and backed off – it’s a fine line that we walk here on the Kidd Kraddick show – yes, we signed up for this job – and yes, we have built our show on the basis of being real and sharing our lives – but when being real and truthful involves people we want to protect, it’s hard

One of the things that people say when they meet me is “I feel like I know you” – and I love to hear that because it means I’m doing my job – but it’s also what sets our “celebrity” status apart from real celebrities – I love Nicole Richie to death and I know a ton about her, but I don’t feel like I know her – but it’s different for us because we do share so much of our lives and rarely hold anything back – people have been asking me (and everyone else on the show) questions about Kidd and Carol for a while – and i always played it off like i didn’t know what they were talking about – and i’ll probably catch some flack about that – but I’m okay with it and I won’t apologize for it – one thing I’m a big believer in is protecting family – and that what Kidd Kraddick is – family -

I’m glad that Kidd waited until Caroline was gone to school before he announced his divorce – divorce sucks for everyone – but especially for the kids – no matter how old they are – I’ve always shared a closeness with Caroline because we’ve sort of lived parallel lives (albeit about 100 years apart!) – my family and Kidd’s family have several friends in common – and way back in the day, I babysat the girl who used to babysit Caroline – Caroline and I even went to the same high school – and now as it turns out, Caroline and I have something else in common – I was the same age as Caroline was when my parents split up – and like the Kraddicks, everyone thought we had the perfect family – We were the perfect Cosby family and everyone told us so – no one would have ever guessed that my parents had split up – least of all me – and I was so shocked by my parent’s divorce that I didn’t tell anyone for a year – I made sure my parents came to school functions together – I made them sit together when they came to see me cheer – at 16, the last thing I wanted was to explain to everyone that my parents who had been married forever were suddenly getting divorced – so Kidd and Carol get my extra admiration for keeping their issues between them and putting Caroline first

Anyway, you asked for it, so here it is – finally … a blog – I’ve been getting a lot of comments lately about why I haven’t written my personal blog – and while I’ve never felt the need to explain myself, I guess since Kidd set the example today, I’ll go ahead and do it too – before I had Sydney, I had all these big plans of things I was going to do after she was born – one of them was to keep a blog dedicated to just her life and being a mom – I even secured the blog name and everything – and then I actually had the baby – and I realized that the best laid plans quickly go out the window after the baby comes – Sydney is almost 7 months old now and I still haven’t figured out that whole “time management” thing with a baby – I know you guys miss the blog – I miss writing it – it is truly one of my favorite things and I miss it for a variety of reasons – but my life has changed dramatically since Sydney came along and I see things differently now

When Kidd offered me the position as the “Official Show Blogger”, I was thrilled because I was going to get to write full time – and in my mind, I would finally have time to post my personal blog on a regular basis – funny how going back to work created more time for me – anyway, before Sydney was born I would usually write my blog after the show – but now, after the show, I’m writing and editing the Remix – and it normally takes me anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half to get that completed – by that time, I have to head home to relieve the nanny – now I should say that I love working and I love even more that I have a work schedule that allows me to be at home with my baby girl the majority of the day – i’m not one of those women that feels guilty about working and I honestly think that I’m a better mom because I work – but I also try really hard to keep my life in balance – and when I’m at work, I try not to do home stuff – and when I’m at home, I try not to do work stuff – I really feel guilty when I’m at home with Sydney and instead of spending time with her, I’m working – I try to get things done when she’s napping but Sydney’s not all that big on naps (which she did NOT get from me) – maybe things will change as Sydney gets older – but right now, I just can’t justify putting her in the swing for an hour so that I can blog – and it’s REALLY difficult to type one handed with a baby on your lap- hopefully at some point in the near future, I’ll be able to write my blog when I’m at work – but right now, it’s just not feasible

I’m sure some of you are going to say that I’m just whining and complaining- but I’m really not – I willingly signed up for this and for me, it’s the best fo both worlds – I don’t feel like I’m missing out on any of Sydney’s life and I still get to have adult interaction and conversations about something other than sleep schedules and poop – I think everyone on the show is more than aware that we set ourselves up for all of this – when we chose these jobs and chose to put our lives on public display, so to speak, we opened ourselves up to public scrutiny – so we have to take the bad with the good – but it’s frustrating when you’re doing the best that you can and people are constantly criticizing you – someone made a comment that I should just write the blog – if only it was that easy – on average, it takes me an hour and a half to write a blog entry – I know they don’t HAVE to be long entries and I don’t start out with that intention, but it’s just the way they end up – and even though I’m far from being a “professional” writer, I take a lot of pride in my writing style and try to make my stories smart and witty and entertaining – I could post every day, but they’d be pretty straight forward and boring “I caught Sydney standing in the Pack-n-Play today – she scared me to death” – “Sydney had pears and apples today and didn’t like either one – I’m bummed she doesn’t like fruit” – pretty exciting stuff, huh?

I don’t know – it’s frustrating – I’m trying so hard to keep everything in check and it’s hard – not just for me, but for everyone – we all probably have a few too many things on our plate – yet we all try to do it all – and then you get hit with something that snaps you into reality – like Kidd’s divorce – because if it can happen to Kidd, it can happen to any of us – you would be hard pressed to find a man who loves his family more than Kidd – I can’t tell you how many times he’s pulled me into his office to share a funny story about Carol (even though I’ve heard the story a million times before) or how many times he’s pulled up a video on his iPod of Caroline performing (that he’s shown me … a million times) – and I think that’s why this shakes me so much -it’s not because they didn’t try hard enough or that they didn’t love each other enough, it’s just like he said – as cliché as it sounds, he and Carol just grew apart – and that is my greatest fear for my marriage – I love my husband to death (even on the days when I want to punch him in the face! lol) and he makes me laugh every single day – and even knowing how strong our relationship was, I was terrified of how it would change after the baby came – because EVERYONE tells you that it will change – and it does – not necessarily for the bad, but it’s not the same – Kelley and I both tend to be a little (or a lot depending on the day) on the workaholic side – so combine that with a baby who needs constant attention – well, it’s scary – because sometimes no matter how badly you want something, it just doesn’t happen – and that really sucks -

Anyway, I wish I could say that I’m going to start blogging more often – I would actually love to say that – but when it doesn’t happen, somebody’ll get mad and then I’ll feel guilty and I already have a laundry list of things I feel extreme guilt over (cause I’m a good Catholic like that!) – I will say that every single day I think about writing a blog – and almost every day I think I will – and then life gets in the way – funny how that happens – you’re busy trying to live your life and living it is what’s constantly getting in your way – I’m still trying to figure out how to telepathically transfer my thoughts from my head to the computer – if I could invent that, not only would I be blogging every day, I’d be super rich! But until I do, I’ll just do the best I can – and at the end of the day, isn’t that all we can ask?