Dianthe’s Blog

for 24 whole hours!!! a few weeks after Sydney was born, Kelley informed me that i needed to get a babysitter for an overnight trip on the 29th of March because we were going to Houston to see Chris Rock - after checking the calendar, i realized that my baby girl would only be 7 weeks old - are you serious? i’m supposed to leave my baby at 7 weeks?? now here’s the back story - before Kelley and i got married, we had several discussions about the importance of maintaining our marriage post children - and i have this fear of waking up 10 years from now and realizing that i no longer know my husband because i’ve been so wrapped up in our kids - so we made a deal that we would always make an effort to spend time together without children - i just didn’t realize it would be so soon! but i also know that Kelley plans the most awesome surprises ever - and i didn’t want to be Debbie Downer and say “no honey - i can’t leave Sydney” - so i had my anxiety attack silently and said ok - i called my mom and asked her to keep Sydney (because at this point, she’s still the only one i’ll leave Sydney with) and of course she was thrilled to have 24 uninterrupted hours with her granddaughter!! so it was a date

as it got closer, i started to freak out a little more - but i was looking forward to getting a full night’s sleep - it doesn’t matter how much sleep i get with Sydney, i’m still in a constant state of exhaustion - especially since she’s still sleeping with us (which i’ll get back to later) - but when i told Kelley that i was looking forward to the sleep, he said he had the whole evening planned and that maybe i should take Sydney to mom’s on Friday if i was expecting some good sleep - well that was out of the question - i was already leaving her for 24 hours - here was no way i was giving up another 12-15 hours with my baby girl - even for some good sleep!

so Saturday morning, i got up at the crack of dawn so i could get dressed before Sydney got up - it takes forever to get out of the house with a newborn - i tried to get as much done the night before as possible but there was still a ton left to do - i have been pumping a ton of milk so that she would have plenty to eat while she was with mom - but it’s hard to gauge how much she eats since i primarily nurse her rather than pumping and feeding from a bottle - i had almost 60 oz frozen - do you think that was overkill? anyway, i got up and got dressed - i fed her and then pumped so she’d have a bottle ready to go - decided that Sydney could go to Grandma’s in her pajamas (can you believe i was actually thinking about getting her dressed? duh!) and we were on her way - as Kelley loaded up the car (with enough supplies to keep Sydney set for the next week!), i teared up a little thinking how much i was going to miss her - i sat in the back with her so i could get in every last minute with her before handing her off to Grandma - but i did it!

so off to Houston - we stayed downtown at The Magnolia - loved it!! we got in around noon and Kelley had some things to “take care of” - so while he was gone, i called to check on my baby - mom said she was fine (of course) so i took a nap - we had dinner reservations before the Chris Rock show and Kelley surprised me at dinner by inviting his sister and her boyfriend and MY sister and her boyfriend - YAY!!! they both live in Houston (our sisters) but i didn’t think we’d have a chance to see them since we were flying in and out - so how excited was i to see them at dinner - after dinner we all headed over to see Chris Rock (who was HI-larious - completely offensive - but truthful - and HI-larious!!) - and then after Chris Rock, Kelley made reservations for us at a jazz club - it was such a great night - while we were hanging out, Kelley asked how long it had been since Stacie and I had hung out - um, years?? i’m not sure why but we just never hang out when she’s in town - the last time we went out was my bachelorette party - so it was cool to kick it with my sister - and i haven’t hung out in Houston in FOREVER - downtown Houston is cool!! anyway, we headed back to the hotel about 2am and i slept all the way til 7:30am with no interruptions - it was only 5 hours, but it was the best 5 hours of sleep i’ve had in almost a year!! we headed back home Sunday morning and my baby girl was back in my arms at noon - WOO HOO!!! it was a great trip and it was nice to get away and just be “dianthe and Kelley” for a while - but it was also nice to get back and be “mommy and daddy” again too!

in the meantime - being a mommy is hard - i mean i knew it would be - but it’s a different kind of hard - and no matter how much you know, it’s still never enough - finally, after 7 weeks - i can finally distinguish Sydney’s cries - i tried to listen like that Baby Whisperer chick on Oprah - but i could never figure out what she was talking about - none of Sydney’s cries ever sounded like what she said - but now i can tell exactly what she needs when she cries - i’m just thankful we haven’t had colic!! now don’t get me wrong - i’m super proud that i figured out the crying thing - but the sleeping thing - it’s a battle i don’t ever think i’ll win - her days and nights have finally evened out a little more - instead of going to bed at 4am, she’s going to bed around 11pm or 12am - and while it’s still not the ideal time, it’s at least more in line with my sleep patterns, so that’s a bonus - still no luck in getting her out of out bed though - so she does the first night time stint in the swing and then when she wakes up for her first feeding, i nurse her side lying in bed with me and that’s where she stays until it’s time to get up for the day - in my head, i keep thinking that i’ll nurse her and then put her in the bed or back in the swing - but by that point, i’m so tired - we both just fall asleep! and why is it that everyone else can put my baby to sleep but me? don’t get me wrong - she’ll fall asleep in my arms - and i love it - but when i lay her down, she wakes up immediately - when my mom or Kelley or anyone else lays her down, she usually stays asleep - i know that she knows me - she recognizes my voice and knows my scent - she may even know my face - but if she’s asleep, how can she know that I’M the one that’s putting her down - man this kid is spoiled rotten - and i have NO idea where she gets it from!! i hope i don’t sound like i’m complaining - i wouldn’t trade being a mom for the world - but that “get ready to never sleep again” thing is like the understatement of the century!!

so now that she’s getting older - she’s getting to be a lot of fun - the first few weeks, all they do is eat and sleep - but now she’s starting to be less dependent on me - sometimes when she wakes up, instead of crying she’ll just sit there and look around - until she gets bored and then she’ll cry!! and sometimes she’ll babble a little bit and then fall back asleep - how exciting is that? she’s also smiling a lot now - i never knew that i could spend hours trying to get my baby to smile - or that Kelley would take picture after picture trying to catch the smile! it’s the greatest thing though - she’ll look up at me and smile - it completely melts my heart - or when i kiss her and tell her how much i lover her or that she is the sweetest baby ever (in my AWESOME baby talk voice) and her face lights up and she gurgles and smiles - it is SO freaking cool!

so we got the official word today - my brother is having a girl!!! my sister-in-law is due in 3 weeks and all this time, they haven’t been able to confirm that it was a girl - they thought so but no confirmation - until today - i am so excited!!! it’s going to be all girls, all the time - they’re practically the same age - they’ll be able to share clothes and dress alike - how fun!! now they just have to find a girl name that begins with J - too bad Jane is already taken - ha ha!!!

Sydney’s First Smile - well at least the first one on film!!!

Sydney’s Easter Outfit - pretty fancy for her first Mass!!

Sydney and her Goddie - that’s the name Stacie aka The Godmother has given herself!! as hardcore as my sister is, i should spell it Gotti!

Steve Guttenberg - i didn’t think he id as poorly as the judges did - it did look like he was off a lot though - especially at the beginning - but it was a fun routine - and he’s such a good guy and has such a positive attitude - you can’t help but like him

Christian de la Fuente - pretty good!  i think he’s one of those that will get better week by week - i still don’t like his attitude though

Monica Seles - um … hmmm … not pretty good - she’s very stiff - she reminds me of those kids shows where they make a robot and then try to teach it to dance - she knows the steps but has problems with the execution

Penn  Jillette - poor Penn - he’s really, really, really fun (yes, 3 reallys) - he’s like the jolly magic giant - he’s huge but lovable - obviously he has huge feet - but what can he do about that?  i mean, it can’t be easy to dance on your tip toes when you weigh 300 pounds!  i thought he’s be the first to go but i think the fans will keep him around for a while

Priscilla Presley - see, last week i only talked about her hair because i didn’t want to get yelled at for being too mean to Priscilla - but since y’all brought it up … what is going on with her face??  i will never understand why people who have money cannot afford GOOD plastic surgery - she’s a mix between “Botox Gone Bad” and “The Incredible Melting Face” - YIKES!!!  but on to the dancing - she’s got the footwork down but can someone teach her how to shimmy???

Shannon Elizabeth - WOW - a big improvement over last week - i didn’t expect her to be that good - i’m impressed

Jason Taylor - when will he be dancing shirtless - dang - was i using my outside of my head voice again - he’s definitely moved into my Top 10 List - he is HOT!!!  plus the man can dance - he could sling me around on the floor ANYTIME!!!

Marissa Jaret Winokur - i just love her!!!   i thought she was good - a few missteps but it’s only the second dance - i think she’s just going to get better and better - you can tell that she’s a perfectionist and that she takes this seriously - i almost cried during her pre-interview - i want her to kick some dancing butt!  plus - she gets bonus points from me because i just read this week that she is a cervical cancer survivor and she and her husband are having a baby through a surrogate - she’s 5 months pregnant - how exciting is that?!?!

Adam Corolla - if he gets to the next round, it’ll be only because of his personality - he’s fun to watch, but he’s not a dancer

Marlee Maitlin - very nice - there’s still something a little off about the routine but i don’t think it’s her - i think it’s the choreography - i think (for the 3rd time)  she did a really good and that she’ll get better every week

Kristi Yamaguchi - this girl can DANCE!!!  she is awesome - it’s going to be tough for her because she’s set such a high standard for herself - inevitably she’ll have one week where she’s off and that’s going to suck - but she is fantastic!!

Mario - another good week for him

i’m waiting for one of the good ones to do something spectacular though - they’re gonna have to start step it up soon otherwise it’s going to get boring real quickly saying “they were good” every week - i still think it’s Monica going home for the girls and Penn or Adam Corolla for the guys 

Dancing With The Stars - WOO HOO!!!!

Penn - dude, the judges were HARSH!!! 5s and 6s?? i wasn’t expecting 10s but dang - that was rough - as Kelley put it, he’s this year’s Mark Cuban - though i think he’s got a little more rhythm than Mark - he was fun to watch and i thin the fans will keep him around for a minute or 2

Jason Taylor - um, HOT!!! oh, was that my outside my head voice??? though there is something weird about his mouth - still hot - oh, is that not one of the requirements for Dancing With The Stars - he was good - a lot better than i expected - he needs to show more personality, but i think he’ll get there …

Christian de la Fuente - ok Latin Boy - a little too full of yourself - “the reason i wanted to do Dancing With the Stars is so i could bring the romance back to dancing” - um, the romance has been there - where have you been?? he’s another hottie but i’m already turned off by his attitude - they were good but he’s a little heavy on his feet

Adam Corolla - he’s way more Mark Cuban than Penn - he’s got personality though and hopefully he’ll show some improvement - it wasn’t all bad - but it wasn’t all good!

Mario - clearly the guy to beat - he just has natural rhythm - it’ll be interersting to see how he matches up against the girls
Steve Guttenberg - Kelley is pulling for the “Guttmeister” - yes, my husband is a nerd! anyway, he was much better than i expected! another one whose personality will earn him an extra week or 2

Shannon Elizabeth - well, she looked really good - exactly how long are her legs and where can i get some of those? she was a little stiff and robotic looking - and i don’t think she and Derek have very much chemistry 

Monica Seles -  did i say Shannon Elizabeth was stiff - poor Monica - she looked like she had a really bad crick in her neck - it wasn’t as bad as i expected though - but it still wasn’t good

Marissa Jaret Winokur - i great big pink and purple puffy heart LOVE LOVE LOVE her!!!!  i didn’t think she danced enough but that’s on Tony for choreography - i think her being so short is going to count against her also - but i think she definitely has some talent - i hope she improves next week because i’d really like to see her stick around for a while

Priscilla Presley - i know this has nothing to do with her dancing, but what is going on with her hair color??  WOW - she was way better than i expected - pretty good - too bad her personality is so dull

Kristi Yamaguchi - WOW!!!  i expected her to be good but damn - she was awesome!!  there’s a reason she’s leading the odds to win in Vegas - she is definitely the woman to beat!!!

Marlee Matlin - pretty impressive - i don’t know how she did it without hearing - she was pretty good but i thought the routine was too slow - of course that’s probably to be expected since she’s just figuring out this whole dancing without sound thing - i have loved her since Picket Fences (yes, i’m 100!) so i’m hoping she makes it far  

it’ll be interesting to see how everyone compares next week - but so far i’m thinking it will be Monica and Penn 

but i think we’re starting to get the hang of this baby thing - well, sort of … i’m still extremely sleep deprived - my boobs feel like they are about to fall off - Sydney has her days and nights completely reversed - there’s nothing like a newborn child to make you feel like you know absolutely nothing! i’ve been taking care of kids since i was 12 and have had tons of experience with newborns - but when it’s your own kid, it might as well be your first time! everyone says babies don’t come with instruction booklets … yeah, i’d like to know why not - i’m not talking about those “Your Baby Week By Week” books - i’m talking about a book that is specific to your kid - God sends you the baby - couldn’t He send the baby with a one sheeter??

SYDNEY JANE - likes to be held (practically 24/7) and is a total snuggle bunny - eats like a champ and likes music (especially Stevie Wonder) - fingernails that grow like weeds and will need to be cut or filed almost daily - is a total night owl but will sleep all day long - a little on the moody side but will learn to like all the things she initially hated - specifically the swing and bouncy chair

see, i’m not asking for a step-by-step of the next 18 years, just a quick heads up!

i’ve figured out why new moms rarely leave the house - because they don’t have anything to wear!!! at some point you get tired of wearing your maternity clothes (because you’re no longer pregnant!) but you’re not quite back to your pre-pregnancy weight - plus, everyone says that even if you hit your pre-pregnancy weight, your body shape is different - so i need a whole new wardrobe for the in between stage (or transition as Kelley calls it) - i can get into my fat jeans (which i was wearing before i got pregnant) but i still have post partum jelly belly which makes for a fabulous muffin top (i’m dead sexy!!) - so all i have to do is wear a top with an empire waist - easy enough, right? except all of mine are summer tops that are low cut or that have spaghetti straps - that doesn’t really work with my sexy (not!) nursing bras - and thanks to my new breastfeeding boobalicious boobies, none of my regular bras fit - i guess i’ll see ya’ll when i lose 40 pounds or stop nursing because until then, i’ll be sitting in my house dressing Sydney in all of her super cute clothes!

so Kelley has been home with me and Sydney since she was born and started back to work today - he’ll be working from home for the next couple of weeks so i’ll still have some help, but he spends a lot of his day on the phone - and when he’s on a call, i’m on my own - there goes my daily shower! i never realized what a production it is to get a baby ready to leave the house - and it’s hard to get yurself dressed when you have to stop down to check on every little moan that comes from your baby’s body - the first time i left the house with Sydney, it took over 2 hours - and that was with Kelley’s help! Friday i took Sydney out for our first Mommy and Baby outing - it was the first time for just the 2 of us and and we were gone all day - we went to the studio so Sydney could meet the show - of course, everyone fell in love with her! then we went to meet the girls for lunch - then off to the mall for some shopping - then we headed over to one of my friend’s house to wait and see if her daughter made cheerleader - how crazy is it that the 2 year old that i used to babysit is going to be a freshman cheerleader?? not that long ago, i was slinging Farris Groth over my shoulder and now she’s gonna be flying through the air in a basket toss for the HP Scots - her mom and i were a nervous wreck waiting to find out if Farris made the squad - i don’t know how i’m gonna handle it when it’s Sydney’s turn - YIKES!!! and speaking of cheerleading - Cheerleader U is back - WOO HOO!! is it too late for me to be a professional cheerleader? that’s really what i want to be when i grow up!

Ash Wednesday was my first official day of maternity leave - i planned to do some last minute errands, go to Mass and then lunch with my mom and godfather and pray that Spike would come unassisted before Friday - after Tuesday’s trip to L&D, my OB had agreed to give me a few more days to see if the baby would come on his (her) own before we induced - unfortunately for me, the hospital schedule was against me

Wednesday morning i got up to listen to the show (just because i work there doesn’t mean i’m not a fan!!) and i got a phone call from my OBs office about 8:30am - now i was expecting this call to be about scheduling an appointment for the next day - imagine my surprise when the nurse told me they wanted me to come to the hospital at 4pm to start the induction - HUH???  that’s not the plan - she explained that the hospital was booked the rest of the week and that since i was already overdue, Dr. Flowers didn’t want to wait until next week - so they were going to start the Cervidil Wednesday evening and then we would go from there - i asked her if i could get the Cervidil and then go back home to labor - hmm - how about no - she said that labor can come on really strong with the Cervidil and they needed to monitor me at the hospital - yeah, at that point i started to cry - i was prepared for induction on Friday but on Wednesday??  not so much - she asked me if i was okay and i lied and said yes - she promised me that it would be okay and told me to call if i had any questions - um, do you have 2 hours to talk to me - sure i had questions - like, why is my child stubborn?  duh. i think we all know the answer to that - the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

anyway, Kelley was still asleep and i needed some time to process everything - so i sat on the chaise for another 2 hours trying to think things through - about 10am, Kelley came into the living room and he immediately knew something was wrong - i told him they were starting the induction at 4pm - of course Kelley, the level headed, was completely unfazed and asked me what i needed him to do - um, can you make your child come on its own??  anyway, i spent the rest of the day sending emails and making phone calls and trying to contact everyone and get everything together - as the day went on, i started to come to terms with the induction but i was still a little freaked out - and then i got a call from Dr. Flowers (my OB) - dude, what doctor does that?  she was just calling to check on me and see how i was doing - she knew that i didn’t want to be induced so she just wanted to see if i had any questions and let me know that even though we were going the induction route, she would still do everything in her power to stick to my original birth plan - love this woman!  while i wasn’t wild about the induction, i knew that her number one was getting Spike here safely - so i decided to go with the flow and finally started to really calm down

so we get to the hospital about 4:15pm - it took about an hour to fill out paperwork and all that jazz and they administered the Cervidil about 5:30pm - one of the things that sucks about induction is that they have to hook you up to all the machines to track your blood pressure and contractions and the baby - that means you pretty much get to sit in the bed and go nowhere - yeah, i hated that - Kelley had class at 7:30pm and i didn’t see the point in him missing class since we’d just be sitting around waiting - so i sent him on his merry way (after he picked up some dinner for me - he’s so great!) and my mom and godmother came to hang out with me - Kelley got back around 10pm and my mom and godmother left - during that time, my contractions were starting to pick up - at least according to the monitors - some of them i could feel and some i couldn’t - and since i couldn’t feel all of them, i was trying to watch for them on the monitor - but the monitors wouldn’t stay in place, so the nurse had to keep coming in to adjust them - but he was only concerned about the baby one and not the contraction one - dude, if you’re going to adjust one of them, why wouldn’t you adjust both?  i was more than a little annoyed but he apparently wasn’t concerned with my contractions - i, on the other hand, was trying to figure out what to expect and was VERY concerned - i guess it didn’t really matter because the contractions kicked into overdrive around 11:30pm - Kelley was asleep (because his bedtime is 11pm) but i was wide awake because i had foolishly declined the Ambien offered by the nurse - big mistake because i didn’t get any sleep that night - about midnight, the contractions were getting pretty bad so i told Kelley to call Kathy (my doula) because breathing through them wasn’t cutting it and i had no idea what to do - i don’t know where she was but she arrived in what seemed like minutes - and good thing …

the next few hours were pretty much a blur - the Cervidil had kicked into high gear and it was not fun - first of all, i had terrible shakes - then i alternated between freezing to death and major hot flashes - then i had to pee what seemed like every 5 minutes - the problem was that i was still hooked up to the monitors, so every time i had to go to the bathroom i had to disconnect myself from the monitors - in addition to that, Sydney was still not reacting like they wanted her to - so i was hooked up to some sort of an IV in addition to the monitors - so from about 1:00am until 4am, i spent the night dealing with contractions, freezing to death, burning up, trying to disconnect the monitors so i could pee and carrying around an IV - talk about labor!   so here i am trying to get to the bathroom without peeing on myself in the middle of a contraction - at the same time, Kelley is following me while holding the IV and a blanket because i feel like i’m in Antarctica - good times - not that i was modest to begin with, but labor will eliminate any modicum of modesty that you thought you had!!  “honey, i know you’re holding the IV while i’m peeing, but can you wrap that blanket around me too?”

now here is where things get fuzzy - at this point, it was about 4 or 5am and i was really tired and the contractions were coming super fast - i think the nurse mentioned something about starting the Pitocin, but i wasn’t willing to do that until i could talk to Dr. Flowers - plus i was really starting to feel like crap from the Cervidil and just needed some rest - so i *might* have been a bad patient and told the nurse to take the Cervidil out to see how much i could progress without it - Kathy suggested i head to the whirlpool for a while - so the Cervidil came out and i headed for the whirlpool - SCORE!!!  you wouldn’t think sitting in a bathtub would alleviate that much pain, but it did and it was wonderful!!  now i know why people give birth in water - it’s still not something that i’ll ever do, but i understand it!  i stayed in the whirlpool for about an hour and probably would have stayed even longer, but by then Dr. Flowers was there and she was ready to break my water … YIKES!!  i was very nervous about her breaking water - for the first time i was officially scared - and i told her so!  all i had heard is that if they have to break your water, it will hurt … BADLY - but Dr. Flowers (and my mom who had also arrived) assured me that it wouldn’t hurt and that i would actually feel better - and of course, she was right - see why i love this woman!  she’s the greatest doctor ever!  so i was good for a little while - it was about 7:30ish and i was dilated to about a 5 or 6 at that point and i was good for a little bit - and then the contractions kicked into overdrive again - they were coming really fast and they were intense - and i was TIRED!!!  tired to the point where i was begging for rest - all i wanted was to get a quick nap - that and some drugs - i thought i could get through the contractions if i just took them one at a time - the problem was i didn’t feel like i was getting a break between them - it just felt like one long contraction - i was still adamant about not getting the epi, but i needed something to take the edge off - i asked Dr. Flowers what my options were and she offered me Stadol or Demerol - i opted to go with the Stadol because BFF Angie had Demerol with her daughter and was completely out of it - so we went with a low dosage of the Stadol around 8:30am and while it did nothing for the pain, it did allow me to sleep for about an hour - and i needed it because i was exhausted!!

then it was time for the big guns - around 10am, i wasn’t progressing and it was Pitocin time - i was still a little out of it because when the nurse checked me and said they needed to start the Pitocin, i remember asking her if she had checked with Dr. Flowers - i’m sure she was thinking “um, duh.” but i was a little loopy so when she said “yes - Dr. Flowers is the one who said to start it” i said, “ok” and went with it!  once again, the contractions were in high gear and i was in MAJOR pain - this is where the rantings and ravings of the crazy pregnant woman begin - things i specifically remember saying:

“can you make them stop for just a little while?” - um, sure dianthe, hold on while we take care of that …

“why does it hurt so much in the same spot - why won’t it move?” - the contractions felt like the most severe menstrual cramps i’d ever had - and i think i was expecting them to hurt somewhere else than in my lower abdomen - in my head, i was thinking if it hurt somewhere else for a little while, it wouldn’t hurt as bad - um, okay … 

“i just need a nap - all i need is a nap” - i was SO tired that i could barely keep my eyes open - and all i remember was contraction, contraction, contraction - now my mom says that i was sleeping between contractions - like full on-knocked out-snoring sleeping - what i remember is one contraction on top of another - but whatev! 

i guess the contractions went on for another hour or so because i don’t really remember anyone checking to see if i had progressed any further - i just remember telling Kathy that i needed to push - i know that i changed positions several times because nothing felt right - it’s weird how well you get to know your body - i had no idea what i was doing but i knew what was working and what wasn’t - some positions worked for a few minutes and some positions i instantly knew were out!  and during the pushing, more rantings and ravings from the crazy pregnant woman:

“i CANNOT do this” - i said this A LOT!!  and every time i said it, someone was there to tell me i could - Kelley, my mom, Kathy - everyone kept telling me i could - whatever - i was tired and in that moment, i didn’t think i could finish - but it’s not like i had a choice! 

“stop asking me if i want to see the mirror - IT’S NOT HELPING ME!!!” - so when you start to crown, they bring out the mirror so you can see the baby coming out of you - apparently it helps some women because they realize that they’re really close and it gives them the incentive for those last couple of pushes - a lot of people are weirded out by this - but i wasn’t - it just wasn’t helping - i caught a glimpse, i even touched her head (and was amazed that she had a head full of hair) - but watching her head come out of my va-jay-jay was not benefiting me and i wanted everyone to stop telling me to look

“OMG - can everybody just stop talking and SHUT UP!! S#IT!!!” - while i was pregnant, i spent a lot of time watching “A Baby Story” and every time i would get annoyed when the mom is pushing and there is a room full of people saying “push”, “you can do it”, “you’re almost there”, etc. - i always wanted to tell those people to shut up - and when everyone was saying those things to me, i felt the same way - which is why i told everyone to shut up - it was difficult enough concentrating on pushing - the last thing i needed was a cheering section

“Come on Spike - come out” -  hey, if she could hear me while she was in the womb, surely she could hear me on the way out - and it was a team effort, right?

so at this point, i’m REALLY close - and Dr. Flowers said that we were almost there and made a comment that if i didn’t push Spike out, she was coming in to get her - then she started putting on her delivery gear - that was all the incentive i needed - when i saw Dr. Flowers in that gown with the gloves on and that huge mask, i decided that Spike was coming out no matter what - it didn’t occur to me that doctors wear that for every delivery - hello … childbirth is messy - but in my head she was preparing for forceps or the vacuum or a c-section (later, Dr. Flowers told me she was just kidding!) - but i wasn’t having any of that - it took everything i had, but i gave 2 or 3 more pushes and out came the head - they kept her body in the birth canal while they suctioned her and then one more push and she was out - they immediately handed her to me chest down - i flipped her over just to confirm and screamed “it’s a girl!!!!” - i can’t begin to tell you how shocked i was - i think everyone else was too because i swear there were actual cheers!  someone handed me a blanket or something and let me wipe her off - i was surprised because she seemed to come out so clean - the nurse ended up cutting the umbilical cord because Kelley aka “Mr. Science” was busy checking out things from the other end - normally they tell the husband to stay up by the mom’s head but Kelley wanted a front row view of his child being born - he watched it all and his exact words afterwards were “AMAZING!!”  

and after 15+ hours of labor and just over an hour of pushing, Sydney Jane was born!

as promised - there are pictures - i will warn you - while they aren’t graphic by any stretch of the imagination, you’ll probably see more of me than you ever thought you would (or wanted to) - they aren’t any more revealing than if i was in a bikini, but it’s not quite the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue!  i debated whether or not to post the pictures, but after looking at them a million times i decided that the birth of my baby girl was too big of a miracle not to share - and a HUGE shout out to Mike and ReJana (that’s right, Mike was there too - remember that modesty thing i mentioned …) for documenting this amazing experience - Kelley and i (and Sydney) are so blessed to not only have them as great photographers, but also as great friends - i can’t wait until Sydney is old enough to see the pictures!!  and here they are …

Sydney Jane’s Birth Day 

and i can finally cough without peeing!! oh sure, i still can’t tell when i have to pee and i’m still making a mad dash for the bathroom every time i stand, but no more peeing and coughing!! and the rest of me is starting to feel normal again too - it’s so weird because right after you deliver, you feel like your body will never feel the same again - and then one day you wake up and you think, “hmmm … everything seems normal again” - everything except my pudgy post pregnancy belly - that’s just weird! for months, your belly is hard as a rock - and then it’s like a bowl full of jelly - i feel like Santa Claus! but whatev - it’s only been 3 weeks and i don’t have to walk the Victoria Secret runway like Heidi Klum!

so 3 weeks later and we’re not any closer to having this schedule thing figured out than we were the first day - and every time we think we’ve got it figured out, Sydney changes it up on us - i have a feeling that my entire career as a parent will be a lot of that - thinking you’ve got it figured out and then … so here’s something that no one tells you about - the infamous Growth Spurts - part of the problem with the growth spurt is that you never know when it’s coming - now “they” tell you expect one at 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, etc. - but the problem is that it’s not an exact science and your baby has its own calendar - so all those weeks just run together - yesterday, Sydney Jane decided she was hungry about every hour to hour and a half - this was after 3 consecutive nights of not going to sleep until 6 or 7am - i knew she was a night owl but this is ridiculous! anyway, the day was filled with feed me, change me, feed me, change me, feed me - you get the picture - then last night, she went to sleep around 2am - Hallelujah and Praise the Lord!! she slept til 8am - i got up to change her and gave her the paci to occupy her until i could feed her - she went back to sleep! then slept until almost noon - then i fed her and she went back to sleep - she slept until almost 4pm - i fed her and then she hung out with Daddy and then they both took a nap! then she woke up around 6pm and ate and then went back to sleep - yep - growth spurt - i’m betting she’ll be up all night - there’s no way i’m getting 2 nights in a row - not this early - besides, we still have to figure out when it’s night and when it’s day!

in true Diva fashion - Miss Sydney had her first photo session - i wasn’t expecting much from her at 10 days old, but she pulled it off and we got some great shots! i PROMISE i will have the birth story posted before Monday - and because you’ve been so patient - we have pictures!! every time i look at them, it is nothing but t

and everything “they” said is true! motherhood is fun, scary, exhausting, joyful, exciting, boring, amazing, messy, shocking, dirty, hilarious, frustrating, - it’s actually every single adjective you can think of - and hands down the coolest thing i’ve ever experienced!

Sydney’s First Professional Photo Shoot 

THE GOOD

Sydney Jane!!!! duh - being a mom is the best thing EVER!!! i love Sydney so much i just want to eat her up - she is super sweet and a total snuggle bunny - she already has so much of my personality - it’s hilarious - she knows exactly what she likes and what she doesn’t - and she has no problem telling you! i have NO idea where she gets that from

Daddy - practically perfect, of course - would he be any other way? Sydney did not waste anytime wrapping Daddy around her little finger - i tried to warn him that he would be in trouble if Spike turned out to be a girl - and as usual, i was right! he cannot get enough of her - he even tries to wake up in the middle of the night to sit up with us when i feed her - then he’ll hold her the rest of the night so that Mommy can get some sleep (or try at least!) - he immediately goes to check her out if she’s crying and volunteers to change diapers - what could be better than that?

cloth diapers - going much better than i expected - i though t there would be a learning curve, but it’s so easy! even Daddy has it down - we’ve had a couple of blowouts but no leaks - YAY!!!! and doing laundry every night isn’t that much fun - but is laundry ever fun? for those of you in the CD world - we’re currently using Kissaluvs fitteds, size 0 with Proraps covers -Sydney is going through our entire stash of 12 every day - i just bought 6 more though, so that will help a ton!

showers - the day after Sydney’s umbilical cord fell off, i took her into the shower with me - Kelley thought i was crazy but she was fussy and i was desperate - she loved it! i don’t know if it was the sound of the water or if it was because it was warm in the shower - but she immediately calmed down and then decided she was ready to eat - so i nursed her in the shower - desperate times call for desperate measures - everyone was right - you’ll do whatever you have to and your instincts will tell you what to do ***DISCLAMER - i didn’t put her directly under the water and i wrapped her in a towel so that she didn’t slip out of my arms

THE BAD

breastfeeding - like my friend Penny said, “it’s hard - people think because it’s natural, it’s easy - but it’s hard” - Penny was right - we haven’t had major problems, but it has not been easy - i thought it would be because she latched on immediately after delivery - and she nursed really well while we were in the hospital - and then we got home … i followed the instructions i was given at the hospital - nurse her every 3-4 hours - that got me an extremely frustrated and fussy baby (not to mention mom) and breasts that were completely engorged - nothing like having boobs filled with boulders! but a visit from my doula and we were all better - she showed me how to nurse sideline and how to read Sydney’s hunger cues - now we’re feeding every 2-2 1/2 hours and she’s gained 1 lb and 2 oz since we left the hospital - YAY!!!! plus we’re all sleeping a little better - Kelley and i are still exhausted, but it’s better than last week!

tummy sleeper - Sydney HATES to sleep on her back - really, she hates to be on her back period - we spent the first week with her sleeping on my or Kelley’s chest - that doesn’t make for a very restful night - i’ve been letting her sleep on her tummy during naptime if i’m awake but she refuses to sleep on her back - we tried everything - swaddling, the car seat, the sleep positioner, the pack n play, the bouncy chair, the swing - yeah, she hates all of that - in addition to that - we’ve unwillingly become cosleepers - i asked the pedi about it and he said some babies are just not back sleepers - he said as long as she’s sleeping with us and we can keep an eye on her, she can sleep on her tummy - so for now, she’s on her tummy in the sleep positioner and hopefully we can transition her to the bassinet in the next few weeks

THE UGLY

sleep deprivation - everyone tells you that you’ll be sleep deprived, so you’re ready for it - right?? not so much - there is no way to truly understand how tired you will be until you are so completely exhausted that you have no idea what time it is - even when you’re looking at the clock - and forget about knowing what day it is! even Kelley admitted that he didn’t think it would be this bad - i don’t think he’s ever taken this many naps - we’ve gotten pretty good atthe daytime sleeping - now we have to figure out this nighttime thing

the poopy diaper blowout - i’ll never understand how so much poo can come out of one little body - but it does - and only as a parent can one become so fascinated with poo

being peed on - see, i thought that only boys did this - but clearly Sydney has already learned that “anything boys can do, girls can do better!” - she peed on me minutes after she was born - then last week while i was changing her, she peed all over the changing pad - then this week when we took pictures with Mike and ReJana, she peed on me again - is this a sign of things to come??

NO bladder control - no one told me that my Kegel muscles would be completely shot - after almost 2 weeks, they are slowly returning - but it’s still a shock - if i’ve been sitting for any length of time, i have to pee the minute i stand up - and i don’t know it until i stand up - SO crazy!! and sneezing when you pee or cough - hello incontinence! but it’s gotta get better, right?

Colace - without going into too much detail - start taking it before you go into labor - they give it to you at the hospital, but you’ll need it before then! ’nuff said!

overall, this has been the greatest experience of my life - not only do i love my baby girl more than i thought possible - i love my husband even more too!! we are having so much fun with Sydney and i can’t believe we made another person - and that she came out of me!!! and speaking of coming out of me - i’m still working on the birth story - a lot of the details are still a little fuzzy, so it’s taking a little longer to write it than i thought - but trust me - it will be worth the wait!

Sydney Jane Hall!!!

she arrived Thursday afternoon (February 7th) at 1:19pm - she weighed 7 lbs and 9 oz (not 8 oz as previously reported) and has lots of hair!  she came into the world extremely alert and ready to go - she nursed for a good 40 minutes immediately and opened her eyes the first day!

it has been pretty chaotic around here - my mom has been a huge help and Sydney’s daddy has been nothing less than wonderful (he is practically perfect, after all!) - it was a rough start but we’re all starting to adjust - i even got 3 uninterrupted hours of sleep today!!!

i’ll try and post my birth story sometime this week - i will say that it was hard - WAY hard!  but like everyone says, you really do “forget” it all as soon as the baby is born and it was worth every second!

in the meantime - here are a few teaser pictures

Sydney’s first official headshot!

our first family photo

here Spike comes - he’s not here yet but he will be today or tomorrow

at yesterday’s appointment she did a non-stress test and while the baby’s heartbeat was nice and strong, she was concerned because Spike wasn’t really moving - i wasn’t concerned because he had been moving earlier in the day and he usually sleeps from about 11am to 4pm - but by the time i saw the doctor, it was about 11:30-11:45 and Spike was fast asleep - and even after drinking some juice and me poking and prodding, he still wasn’t moving - and again, i wasn’t alarmed because i knew it was naptime but the doctor sent me to Labor & Delivery anyway just to be sure - so off to L&D for 4 hours - oh, the joy of being hooked up to machines and being immobilized - what a beating!!  anyway, just like i thought he would - Spike woke up around 3-3:30pm and my OB said things were all good and i was sprung!  but not until we had a conversation about inducing - UGH!!!  normally by this point she recommends inducing anyway but she’s been trying not to mention it because she knows that’s not what i wanted - but she was concerned about 1) the size of the baby - according to the ultrasound, this kid is huge - he measured 7 lbs 11oz last thursday and 8 lbs 14 oz yesterday - and while we know the ultrasound could be off, she thinks if we wait til next week, he’s going to be too big - 2) she’s worried that the placenta is getting “old” - so we decided to give Spike a few more days to show up on his own and try and schedule an induction for Friday - so i decided that i would officially start my maternity leave today and just hang out and wait for Spike the next couple of days

fast forward to this morning - the nurse called me at 8:30am to let me know that they want to admit me today at 4pm to start the Cervidil and to plan to stay overnight - WHAT??  that’s not part of the plan - today is Wednesday - did someone get the days confused??  well apparently i wasn’t the only one who wanted to have a baby on Friday because the hospital was booked for the next 2 days and that bumped me up til today - she thinks that if we go into next week, it will be too late - so we are at T-5 hours til we start the official countdown to Spike’s big arrival!

i started off the morning in tears and in a total panic - i really, really did not want to be induced - i don’t want to be hooked up to monitors and machines - i want to be able to move around - and all things induction tend to go against that - but as of yesterday, i was 70% effaced and 1 cm dilated -so hopefully the Cervidil will do the trick and we won’t have to move on to the Pitocin - of course, i’ll do whatever it takes to get Spike here safely, but i’m hoping he’ll get into gear with some gentle motivation instead of the full blown “get your tush in motion” motivation - but clearly Spike is as stubborn as his mom, so you never know  **shaking head** you know what they say about payback …

so i’ve spent the morning making phone calls and sending emails and trying to make sure everything is good to go - i’ve made a thousand lists and i’ve checked them all twice (who the hell am i? Santa Claus?) and whatever isn’t done by 3pm just won’t get done - and true to diva form, what did i add to the list this morning?  pick up the new MAC lip glass - i’m going to need something to feel extra pretty while pushing out this kid - but i think i’ll have Kelley go pick it up for me - i’m sure he’ll be thrilled!

anyway - say a prayer or send good thoughts or whatever it is you do -hopefully Spike will come safely and quickly!  i’m not sure if i’ll have internet access at the hospital - but i’ll try and update you as soon as i can 

this morning i got up on time, took a shower, had cute hair and knew exactly what i was going to wear - too bad my sweater didn’t fit when i put it on over my leggings - UGH!!!!  you know that scene in Steel Magnolias where they’re at the wedding and Truvy and Clairee are watching Janice Van Meter dance and Clairee says “Looks like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket” - that’s exactly what i looked like - and there wasn’t a girdle in the world that could have helped me!  a reference to Truvy saying she hadn’t left the house without Lycra on her thighs since she was 14 - Clairee responds “that’s because you were brought up right” - oh how i love that movie - but i digress … anyway, it’s time for Spike to make an appearance because  i’m no longer able to dress like the fabulous pregnant woman that i am - it took 40 1/2 weeks, but it’s over - i no longer have the energy to put on heels - i’ve given up - but not without a fight - i still have on full makeup!!!

and speaking of being to fat - yesterday i went to Babies R Us to use my completion coupon - yay for saving 10%!!!!  i’m lucky that i live close to Babies R Us, i have a feeling i’m going to be spending a LOT of time there - anyway, BRU has a good number of parking spots - and when you’re 300 months pregnant, you appreciate them - so i park in the second spot making sure to leave plenty of room on either side of Tahiti - i try to be a courteous parker in my big rig - plus i need the space to get in and out of the car - i was in BRU for about an hour - so imagine how pissed i was when i get to my car and realize that the car parked on the driver’s side is WAY to close to me - i could barely open my car door - i contemplated going to the passenger side and climbing over the seat but looking at my enormous belly, i realized that would never work - at that point, i had to resist the urge to slam my door open and leave a nice ding in the maroon car next to me - instead, i took a deep breath and realized the car had a break away mirror that gave me exactly the 3 inches i needed to squeeze into my car - i bet that person wasn’t even pregnant!

so in my “this baby will never get here funk”, i ate entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food last night - i had every intention of only eating half - but it was so good - plus i got distracted while searching for more cloth diapers on diaperswappers.com - i promised myself that i wouldn’t buy any more until Spike gets here - Kelley thinks i’m obsessed - and maybe i am - but they are so dang cute - cute diapers and covers - maybe when i get adjusted to Spike being here (if he ever gets here), i’ll learn to make my own covers - so freaking cute!  anyway, my last 3 visits, i haven’t gained any weight - which must mean that Spike is getting bigger and i’m getting smaller - so the ice cream balances out, right - that’s my story and i’m sticking to it!

before i forget - i just wanted to thank all of you for all of your encouragement and funny stories - even the ones where you were pregnant for a 1000 months - in my head i know i’m not the only person to ever be pregnant but it helps to hear real life stories - they always make me laugh and at this point - i REALLY need that!  keep them coming though - who knows when this kid will make an appearance!